Facebook and Twitter and checking your newsfeed

Miley and 1D and feeling your ears bleed

Iced frappes and thigh gaps and tight-fitting leggings

Gym sessions don’t count if you didn’t check in


Untagging, retweeting and following back

Hashtag “nofilter,” did you Instagram that?

Beyoncé and Ugg boots and Marilyn quotes

“This is amazeballs!” “Yeah, babe, TOTES!”


Liking and commenting and scrolling endlessly

Swiping through updates and stories senselessly


Keep posting statuses about how drunk you were last night.

Keep posting tweets about clean eating and egg whites.

Keep posting photos of your name spelled wrong at Starbucks.

But please, keep in mind – nobody gives two fucks.

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